


Not Fucked Up (or at least I think so)

by Ackaphobe



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU-ish thing, Albino Dave, Bro is awful, Character Death, F/F, He's kinda messed up in this, M/M, Meteorstuck, Sadstuck, Vriska being a bitch, just putting it out there, poor Dave
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-11 11:21:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5624968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ackaphobe/pseuds/Ackaphobe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave couldn't take it anymore. This, of all things, was enough to push him past the breaking point.<br/>He sat curled in on himself, in a far flung corner of the meteor, and it was way too bright. The lights stung his eyes as he let the scene from earlier replay in his head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, i'm back! I had this idea a while back and finally got myself to write it.  
> If you don't like Bro and Dave's past relationship, this probably isn't the fic for you.  
> But enjoy, maybe?  
> -Em

Dave couldn't take it anymore. This, of all things, was enough to push him past the breaking point.  
He sat curled in on himself, in a far flung corner of the meteor, and it was way too bright. The lights stung his eyes as he let the scene from earlier replay in his head.

He had felt sick, had a headache, and the only thought on his mind was finding the kitchen and downing as much painkillers as safely possible. He had stumbled out into the common room, not noticing who else was in there until she was practically on top of him. His vision was blurry already, and the lights in the room were doing nothing to help. He could barely make out that this thing was a troll, and looked to be female. “Tez? Vriska? What?” He mumbled “Me.” The dark, fuzzy shape in front of growled. “Okay? Whoever this is, hey.”  
The next thing he knew was that his face hurt, and his shades were flung across the room. 

He let the words overtake him like a tidal wave

“Me! you useless dumbass! You're not worth keeping around here are you? Ignoring everyone else to make out with your stupid matesprit!” 

This, he had determined at the time, was definitely Vriska.

“We should have tossed you off this rock, along with the rest of you stupid lumps! You're worthless to us! You did your job now get lost! I pity the next being that has to see your sorry ass come crawling to them in despair! You fucked up Dave!”

It reminded him of the things Bro used to say, the things that had haunted his mind from a young age.  
And, did his head hurt this much earlier? He knew he shouldn't be in the lights like this, he shouldn't have left the only thing keeping him himself lying broken on the common room floor.  
He sighed, what would Bro think of him now? He would probably agree with Vriska. He could almost see him, standing over him again with a smirk on his face, like all those times before . 

“You have got to get better at this kid!”

His Bro had just flung him across the room. His sword had been broken earlier in the fight, and his arm was going to need stitches. Nonetheless, Bro had pushed on.  
He was eight.

“This is hopeless! The first thing that gets its grubby claws on you is ‘gonna rip that sad, screaming head right off your tiny body.” 

It was happening again, “An unwanted side effect of being a time player” Rose had called it, he was remembering things that he shouldn't. These things weren't there for him to know. These weren't from his timeline, or any that he knew of. 

“I can't go on like this! You, I, we, we fucking killed him! Hes dead! Holy fuck, i'm alone. All alone with this little fucker. This little fucker he wanted with all his heart, ‘till it gave out.  
I-I can’t raise a kid. He’ll just end up like me. Fucked up, this is so fucked up! I'm sorry, i'm probably going to fuck you up too Dave.” 

He was looking over his Bro’s shoulder, a much younger Bro. He was staring straight into his own bright red eyes that he had grown to hate.  
But before he could do a thing, he was yanked out of it. Like being woken up from a nightmare.  
Waking up, and then being pulled straight into Karkat’s arms.

“What the fuck Dave! I found your stupid glasses and blood on the floor in the common room- oh my gog! Dave? Dave, are you okay?”

He leaned his head into Karkat’s chest. He was definitely not okay, not at all. Dave wondered if that’s why Karkat put up with him, because he was pitiful. A worthless, useless human being with no purpose. He thought back to a comment Bro had made, mere days before this whole ordeal began.

“Hopefully you find someone fucked up enough to put up with you. You're a fucking teenager Dave! Work your shit out.” 

He was worthless, he had seen countless versions of himself die, and to him, it looked like the others didn't care. Had he always been some charity case?  
Had he always been so stupid as to think of himself as a peer to them?  
Had he been screwed over from the very beginning?  
He thought so. 

He didn't know when he had started sobbing into Karkat’s sweater. His whole body hurt like hell, especially his head. It felt like someone was stabbing his brain from the inside. He didn’t deserve Karkat, or anyone for that matter. He was useless now that he didn’t use his powers. And his brother had made sure that he had no confidence fighting something that he couldn't take on by himself. Why did they let him stick around?

“Dave? Look at me. What’s wrong?” 

Why was he worried about him?  
Why did he care?  
Why was he even trying”

“Dave please! I need to know what’s wrong”

Dave muttered “Sorry.” and then blacked out.


	2. Revisiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see Karkat's side of the story. And Dave sees something he shouldn't have been able to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is out! Im sorry that it's a bit late guys....  
> But enjoy anyways!  
> -Em

Karkat was surprised at how fragile Dave looked like this. He had always been this tall, and skinny as hell, but had he always looked so vulnerable?  
He had gone looking for Dave hours before, after finding his broken sunglasses and a smear of red blood on the ground in the common room.  
He knew that Dave was sick, and other than that, not much else.  
But when he had found him, he just just looked so, broken. After getting close to one another, and being matesprits-boyfriends for a year, Karkat had never seen Dave like this. 

He picked Dave up, he was surprisingly quite light which was worrying, and stumbled through the hallways of the meteor to find Dave’s (and more recently his) room. He managed to find a way to get the door open, and laid Dave on the bed.  
He needed to figure out just what the fuck happened to cause him to be like this, and decided that Rose would be a good place to start. He opened his husktop and happened to already have a message from Kanaya about the situation.

grimAuxillatrix [GA] began pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GA: Karkat? Have You Spoken With Either Vriska Or Terezi Lately? I Believe Something Has Happened Involving Dave. 

CG: NO SHIT. BECAUSE SAID DOUCHEBAG IS PASSED OUT ON THE BED WITH BLOOD ON HIS FACE.

CG: AND I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO EITHER OF THEM. 

GA: Oh My. Is He Okay? 

CG: I THINK SO. BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED AND HE HAD A BREAKDOWN. I’M WORRIED ABOUT HIM… 

GA: And You Have Every Right To Be. Did He Happen To Have Told You Anything About The Situation Before He Passed Out? 

CG: NO, NOTHING. ALL I COULD GET OUT OF HIM WAS “SORRY”. 

GA: Do You Wish For Me To Inform Rose About This? 

CG: UNLESS SHE KNOWS WHAT THE BULGESUCKING FUCK HAPPENED EARLIER, NO. PLEASE DON’T. 

GA: Of Course Karkat. And If I Find Anything Out About The Situation I will Tell You. Goodbye. 

grimAuxillatrix [GA] ceased pestering  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

CG: KANAYA? FUCK. BYE. 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering  grimAuxillatrix [GA]

Karkat slammed his husktop shut, that was getting him nowhere. Maybe he could just wait until Dave was awake and ask him. He jumped as the door was flung open and Terezi walked in

“What the heck did Vriska do!”

“Terezi?”

“Oh my gog! I'm so sorry Karkat! I might have told vriska that I was a bit mad that I didn’t see you two anymore but-”

“Wait, what happened?”

“Vriska took what I said the wrong way, and kind of took it out in your matesprit…” 

“Vriska! That bitch did this. Really, I should've guessed. She’s the only one with the guts to attack anyone anymore.”

“But really i'm so sorry, I didn't mean for her to freak out like this! I'm going to go talk to her.”

“Wait!” But she was already out the door again. He didn't know what was up with people leaving him in the dust all day. Karkat flopped back on the bed, he decided that waiting was the best choice for now.

_______________________________________________________________ 

Dave was having a horrible dream. All he could see was himself fighting Bro. It was one of the last fights they had ever had, but he was in Bro’s head this time. He could hear every thought, feel every emotion. He was re-living this, but as Bro. Although he wasn’t in control, just a passenger.

He could feel the tears in his Brother’s eyes behind his shades. 

He hadn’t seen those before.

He could tell that Bro was actually having a hard time beating him, and for some odd reason, he was relieved.

He wasn’t the failure he had been called, at least he wasn’t then.

He felt him knock the sword from his own hands, and stand over him.

He didn’t remember looking, or feeling, this terrified. 

Bro pushed him down, and the Dave he was looking at had the most horrified expression on his face.

Sheer terror.

Was this how it had always been?

Bro stabbed the concrete next to his shoulder

“No problem. Seriously? Did you really think you could win?”

And suddenly he was no longer watching the fight. He was staring into his apartment living room.

And it was clean and nice.

And Bro was smiling and laughing with some man Dave didn't know. 

He had dark hair and glasses. To Dave he kind of looked like John or Jade.

Wait. Did he just -kiss- his bro? What the fuck.

Dave couldn't wrap his head around this.

Bro had emotions other that angry or annoyed.

Bro actually knew people that weren't creepy as fuck.

And he was kissing and hugging a guy, and looked happy with it.

Bro was gay?

All those years of not telling him, and he was gay too?

The whole time.

Bro.

Gay.

Those words just didn't go together. 

Like Rose and straight, they just don't work. 

Dave took a closer look.

Aww. they were holding hands.

Were those rings?

Was his bro married to this guy?

Could this day get any more confusing?

Probably not, Dave thought. 

He moved until he was standing right in front of them. He could see it all, the couch, the kitchen. It was definitely the same apartment.

But there were no smuppets. Or fireworks, or cameras.

There were a few swords and guns hanging on the wall, along with some awful movie posters.

And on the desk in the corner, there were adoption papers.

Adoption papers for a Dave Strider.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave finds out the truth, maybe. (I'm so bad at summaries....)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really short. Oops.   
> But on the other hand I hope that I can update this more regularly from now on  
> So yeah.  
> -Em

“Well Jake we did it. We are now the legal guardians of my little brother.” Dirk deadpanned. He wasn’t exactly sure how he had a little brother though. He didn’t even know his parents. Some place had called him out of the blue “Mr. Striders, This is skaia adoption agency, and it seems that a Dirk Strider is the last known relative of a child we have here.” and then, boom. In charge of a kid. 

Jake smiled “Yes! And isn’t it exciting love?” Dirk laughed, this was the happiest he’d seen Jake in weeks. He wrapped his arms around him, and pressed a kiss to his lips. Jake grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the couch. “How about a movie?” Dirk nodded “Only you would celebrate like that.” 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dave watched the pair from afar and it was odd to see his brother happy. He wondered how Bro had gone from this, to the guardian he had known. What had happened to the other guy, Jake? He sunk to the floor, thinking about what he had just seen.  
In this timeline Bro was gay, and had a husband apparently. They were adopting a Dave that wasn’t him. That Dave would grow up to be so different from him. Maybe that Dave wouldn’t be so useless, or be so messed up.  
It hurt knowing that everything about him could have been changed by one guy. 

He was pulled from his thoughts by someone coughing violently. He watched Bro help his, well, husband (it felt odd to say that) to his feet and down the hall, to what he assumed was their room. The coughing continued until Dave could no longer hear anything.

Or see anything

He was now standing at the foot of a hospital bed. His bro was nowhere to be found, but the man he had seen him with was. He looked so fragile, hooked up to all those tubes and monitors.   
And then Dave put two and two together  
The person Bro was talking about dying, it was him. This man dies, and Bro is left with him.  
He thought that was stupid. His brother was just being a melodramatic asshole, by taking shit out on him. 

Wow.

It all made sense.  
Bro was just being a diva.  
But he knew how it felt to lose someone you love, or thought that you loved. He had seen both his brother’s and his own dead bodies multiple times, and the feeling it left with him never went away.   
He didn’t want to lose Karkat, or anyone for that matter. He would rather be the one dying.  
He deserved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are highly appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't beta'd, so if you find any grammar errors, etc. please comment so I can fix it!  
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
